Completely Normal (and Other Lies)

It’s true that 16-year-old Stella has had a tough start to the year. Her father has left her mother for another woman, and now lives with his new wife in Hong Kong where they’re expecting a new baby. Stella got a job over the holidays to get away from her mum, who won’t stop talking about how great seeing her therapist Petra has been for her. 

She met 20-year-old Jake at her new job and got into a relationship with him. Sure, he was a bit older, but Stella doesn’t know why her mother completely flipped when she found out. She banned all social media and immediately sent Stella to therapy, saying she clearly wasn’t dealing well with their family situation. Worse, she told Stella’s friends’ mums—something that would be fine if Stella’s friends Reena and Sophie were trustworthy and supportive, rather than rumour-mongering liars. They immediately spread rumours that Stella has been sleeping with a much older married man, putting herself up on dating websites for older men, exchanging money for sex, and that nude photos of her had been leaked. 

When she starts running into Isaac Calder (the hottest guy in school apart from his best friend Mickey O’Reilly, who everyone agrees is too much of a loose cannon to be a romantic prospect) and his younger half-sister Paris on the way back from her therapy appointments, stella is surprised to find herself making genuine connections. It feels like so long since she’s looked forward to or cared about anything, but now Thursday afternoons feel like a bright spot. Isaac and Stella exchange phone numbers and text each other almost constantly. 

There’s just one problem: Isaac has a girlfriend, Grace Reyes. They never talk about Grace, but there’s an unspoken agreement that they won’t interact outside of their text threads and Thursday afternoon walks. Stella, finding that she seems to always be focusing on him and feeling that they could have more than this strange unacknowledged emotional connection, pushes him to choose her. It feels like no-one ever does. 

Isaac relents and says he will break up with Grace. That night, he is in a car accident and passes away. 

Stella has no-one to talk to about her grief outside of therapy. No-one even knew she and Isaac had been close. When she begins to build a connection with Grace Reyes, it feels different to any other friendship: Grace is someone who can understand (though Stella would never tell her) what she’s going through. More than that, Grace is a genuinely nice person who would never be as cruel to Stella as Reena and Sophie often are. 

Through her conversations with Grace, the reader learns that Stella’s situation with Jake had been worse than she initially insisted it was. He had started a relationship with her the day she turned 16, and shortly afterwards invited her over to his house, gave her alcohol, and took her virginity. Unbeknownst to Stella, he had been taking photos of her during the act. After Stella’s mum found out and cut off all communication with him, Jake reached out to tell Stella that he still had the photos and might leak them. Stella didn’t know who to turn to. 

Then Stella finds out that Mickey, Isaac’s best friend, knew about her connection to Isaac. It’s a good thing, because when Isaac’s unlocked phone is returned by the police, Mickey is able to delete Stella and Isaac’s message history. But it’s too late—the screenshots have already been leaked on a group chat and the whole school has seen them. Grace can’t stand even looking at Stella, and everyone is disgusted at her supposed homewrecking ways. Luckily, Grace’s friendships with Mickey and another girl, Gretchen, don’t falter. She eventually talks things through with Grace and they agree to be friends again, even though it’s hard. 

This is a thought-provoking depiction of mental illness, trauma, statutory rape and grooming, and grief. Stella is a surprisingly unreliable narrator—her candid and even scathing internal commentary pulls no punches when observing the outside world, but she conceals the true nature of her history with Jake even from herself. This mirrors the experiences many trauma survivors have in doubting their own perceptions of reality or intentionally repressing their trauma. As Stella admits to herself and others what happened to her, she begins to understand that it was a violation of her consent, rather than something she invited on herself. 

Characters like Reena and Sophie depict the worst aspects of internalised misogyny, body shaming, cyberbullying, and monitoring of societal norms and “allowable” behaviour. This filters through into Stella’s perceptions, as she often comments on the layers of double-meaning underneath a backhanded compliment or discusses the subtle differences between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Grace is an interesting case; as a curvier girl, she is constantly told that she is beautiful in spite of her weight and there is an implicit understanding that her status as the hottest girl in school is in part due to Isaac’s interest. We also see the double standard of people judging Stella for her actions, rather than judging Jake or Isaac. 

The book’s depiction of grief and anger is also fascinating. Stella observes that depending on how close you were to Isaac, there were degrees to which people are “allowed” to show that they’re upset. As the characters are teenagers, they’re constantly watching each other for cues on how to display grief and how to act around people who are grieving. Stella is constantly repressing her emotions as she feels she’s not “allowed” to be upset, and sudden bursts of violent anger are her only outlet. As she heals her connection with her mother and gains more ground in therapy, she begins to learn the importance of building safe, mutual spaces for vulnerability and emotional honesty. 

Overall, this is a realistic and emotionally-affecting depiction of grief, trauma and mental illness. As Stella begins to engage with things she loves again (like making a quilt with Paris or creating a dress for Grace), engages with therapy and makes new friendships outside of her toxic circle, we see her blossom and grow in positivity. Full of dark humour and spots of brightness, this book is highly recommended for young adult readers. 

societal norms, rules and transgression, anger, allowable behaviour, comfort, grief, individuality, repression, toxic friendships, vulnerability, emotional honesty, outbursts, meltdowns, depression, therapy, mental health, trauma, grooming, assault/rape, consent, unreliable narrator, cyberbullying, trust

1. Mentions throughout of Isaac’s death—he was in a collision with a drunk driver. His death is not depicted. Mention that a kid at their school accidentally killed a duckling she was observing for Biology (p. 171). Reena and Sophie seem to think that “If a guy didn’t want you, you might as well kill yourself” (p. 121). 2. Language: shit x 38, slut (p. 4, 55, 87, 222 x 2), Jesus x 11, bitch x 11, f*ck x 15, dick x 6, arsehole x 6, wanker x 1. Gretchen got detention for dropping the “c-bomb”—Jamal got detention for saying that it’s sexist to be so offended by the “colloquial” word for a woman’s genitalia (p. 260). 3. Tarot joke (p. 12). 4. Menstruation—Grace helps Stella when she unexpectedly gets her period (p. 69-72). 5. Mentions throughout that characters are going to parties with alcohol involved (e.g. Kelly Ng’s birthday drinks) off-page. Mention of adults consuming alcohol (p. 76, 114, 121). Isaac tells Stella that his dad was an alcoholic, but that he has been dry for years now and goes to AA (p. 66). Isaac gets beer on “boys’ trips” with his dad (p. 77). Stella asks Isaac to come over and drink her mum’s vodka with her, but he declines (p. 97). Stella jokes about doing body shots off Isaac’s casket (p. 143). 6. Jake (20yo) kissed Stella (16yo) at work (p. 14). Rumours circulating about Stella mentioned throughout—ranging from rumours that she had a boyfriend who had uploaded her nudes to a website, to rumours that she maintains profiles on sites for sugar daddies, and that she sells herself. Joke about grooming (p. 31). Mention that Jake and Stella had slept together (p. 70). Stella and Isaac kiss, and he unbuttons her jeans, but they do not sleep together (p. 119-122). Flashback to Stella losing her virginity to Jake—he had given her wine to drink (p. 120-121). He took pictures of Stella without her consent (p. 202). Stella sees Harrison G making out with Gretchen Carlisle (p. 151-152). He has written the names of the girls he’s made out with next to the countries he thinks they’re from on the world map. Mickey does a project on gay penguins which involves getting two male classmates to wear penguin masks and re-enact a wedding (p. 190)—Reena makes fun of Mickey for wanting to do this. He has two mums (p. 190, 208, 271). Gay penguin wedding reenactment (p. 241). Mention that Eva and Grace kissed once. Mention that Reena and Sophie kissed in Grade 10 because Reena’s crush Robbie egged them on (p. 198). Eva has feelings for Grace but has moved on to a girl from another school (p. 198). Mention that Stella kissed Mickey at a Year 10 party (p. 199).